Food Journey

I don't like this, but I am willing to change everything to feel better. Within 30 minutes I know if I have eaten something that I shouldn't have. This sucks. No more caffeine. No more dairy. No more red meat (an easy one to avoid). Low-fat everything.

My stomach hurts badly and then my head hurts, but it's not a normal headache. It's a head pain? I have a hard time describing it, but it's distinct to my food issue. So I own 2 books now, Eating for IBS and Breaking the Vicious Cycle . I am not sure if either are really going to work, but the last doctor I saw was a #$%@ing dipshit and diagnosed me with a stomach virus. Yeah, I have had a stomach virus for 3 months? Asshat. So until I can get my husband to give me a POA or get him to go into the Tricare office to change our doctor, I will try to treat my pain myself. I refuse to go back to that jerk. It's a long story and I just don't want to get into it now.

Basically it's almost a vegan diet, but I can still eat chicken & seafood. I am trying out new recipes. and trying to get my life without pain back. I am so sick & tired of the pain. Hopefully this works and I can be without pain again.

Adventures in Hypnotherapy

For 18 years I have been seen counselors, psychologists, psychiatrists and family therapists to "fix" me. Have any of them "fixed" me? Am I well-balanced? Do I have the self-confidence I desire? Well, it's in the eye of the beholder I suppose. My husband also can be the judge over the past 12 years and he can tell you that nothing has given me my self-confidence that I never have fully had. I have one thing left to try in my opinion (besides hiring a full entourage of people to follow me around praising my every move, but I am not a socialite) & that is hypnotherapy. I have used a form of hypnotherapy once before and that was for my pregnancy and birth of my daughter. It helped immensely and gave me the confidence that the labor & birth of that child would not be the nightmare my first child's was. I believe some of that carried on to my last pregnancy & labor also as it was fairly easy also.

So today was my first session with my hypnotherapist & boy, was it the perfect day to go! I was high-strung and stressed to the max when I arrived! My kids were being difficult this morning and so I was an hour later than I usually am to campus in the morning. Not a single photograph from this weekend's shoot turned out correct & I felt as though I wasted that 3 hour lab away. Then I went to another 3 hour digital lab and had to listen to what I considered was worse than nails on a chalkboard, chewing on tinfoil & the rubbing of styrofoam together at high pitched volumes all at once while trying to concentrate on a project. I got no work done. I also did not get a chance to eat until 4:30pm. Yeah. It was one of my more awful days.

The hypnotherapist & I spent some time talking (after I filled out a couple papers, I do live in California after all) and then he asked if he could place me under hypnosis, to which I agreed. I will admit that I was skeptical, but oh my! What a TRIP! At some points I started to drift away and I knew my subconscious was paying attention, not my conscious and then I would start to pull myself out of the hypnosis. I figured this would happen, but I am okay with this! During the hypnosis he did place it in my mind that it would become easier each time I am being hypnotized for me to become and to stay in a state of hypnosis.

I actually feel wonderful now. It's amazing. I don't feel weird or unusual. I don't feel drugged. I feel very relaxed and happy. It's not quite an overwhelming confidence, but I feel a little more confidence. :) Wow. I feel a little better. I have another session in a week. I'll let you know how I sleep tonight.

Milk

Stupid cows & your stupid milk. I am refusing to blame MY body anymore for YOUR faulty product. I'm not the only one either. Hundreds of thousands of people have milk product intolerance. Others have lactose intolerance. I think your product is faulty & needs to be recalled. My gastrointestional organs are demanding a full refund on the days spent in pain since January.

Also, your product has more than likely been the cause of my fkd up skin, weight gain & bloating. Since quitting your product & picking up the soy life is getting better. While off milk products I feel better. I am no longer in pain. Though there was that ONE night I craved Taco Hell... I am now feeling the Hell. I will be fully recovered from the episode of pain in a couple days, but the other damages will take much longer to go away.

The End... For now...
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